CIga in Louisville & Moravian Falls 2013

Thursday, Oct 17
Arrival to Louisville

Found myself so grieved that I travailed on the floor for Obadiah who flew away when I was leaving her at my parents' house on Wednesday, the day before I left for Louisville.   I finally went to bed past 12.  Got up a few hours later with the alarm, showered and got ready nervously knowing how sad I was, aware I could forget something in this state of mind.   I pressed into prayer with great intensity in the car for Obadiah and for Diamond Bar, going back and forth over the desperateness of both situations.

Last night I came to a place of peace and blessed Obadiah's spirit to go to Mom & Dad's place.  It would have been easier to pray for her to "come home" but unfortunately no one will be home.  I prayed for Bart.  Saw 4:44 & 5:55 and took solace in knowing the Lord who speaks to me this way IS speaking.  If numbers were a way of knowing God's presence, he was with me all day.  Saw 13:13 as I took off from the Houston airport and when I made it through the rental car line, I was given the car in space C44, and the license plate was 444 PHZ.    I drove after dark on my seminary campus and followed a security police that had 4444 painted on the car.   Saw gas prices all over the place were $3:33.  And now see that it is 21:21.

At the Houston airport I felt drawn to Starbucks but got pulled toward a bookstore while looking at Khaled Hosseini's (author of Kite Runner) newest book.  I felt tingles surge down my head. When I turned to look at Starbucks it stopped.  I tried to discern where the surge came from.  I think it was that book.  The lady welcomed me into the store to look, and when I saw the same book in another part of the store it surged again.  I picked it up and read the back cover.  I didn't think I was supposed to buy the book or engage the lady.  I just received it in my spirit.   Gayle had emailed the church and Robyn was so nice to call to pray for Obadiah together.  Amazing she caught me during my 60 minute layover.

When I got to Louisville, the young lady at the car rental desk apologized that I had to wait for so long.  I cheerfully said, "no problem, you guys get quite a rush here."  "What brings you to Louisville?" she asked.  "I actually came to seminary here 25 years ago."  Then it hit me.  I narrowed my eyes at her blank but polite gaze back at me.  "You weren't born yet were you?"  She shook her head.  "I'm 23.  Missed me by 2 years."

The rental car cost was almost double what I thought I was going to pay ($207 instead of $130).  I felt the spirit of poverty take over as I cringed at the price but hurried along because there was quite a line behind me.  While driving I gave my poverty spirit to the Lord, saying this trip and its costs are my worship to Him and I want to give Him my best.  He told me this trip was HIS gift to ME, and to treat myself well because He has it covered.   Then he said "thank you for coming. . . and thank you for coming 25 years ago, because you loved me." I looked at the Churchill Downs race track and Louisville Cardinals stadium from the freeway and tears welled up at those words in these surroundings.  They was the same fixtures that were there 25 years ago.  The feel of the land was unforgettably the same though the buildings were newer.

I drove to the Indiana side of the River where I will be staying.


Friday, October 18
Day 1 Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

I fell asleep last night only after realizing it was Obadiah's choice to leave me.  I have often wondered how we would part.  I never expected it to happen this way.  I couldn't be mad at God for taking her away because he didn't, I couldn't be mad at myself because ultimately I like those under my care not to be bound to me.  I let their wings grow because I feel bad about forcing them to be dependent on me.  It was Obadiah's choice so I could only be mad at her.  I then fell asleep.  

I got up to the phone ringing.  He Ying  (the little girl in Shanghai who I visit) and her mom were Face Timing me.  I was glad because it was after 7am EST but still 4am LA time.  We talked about going to their hometown in the very poor province of Anhui the next time I'm there in April.

I got an email from Ling from Nanjing saying she was coming to LA in a few days.  I was going to be out of town.  She said she would come back at the end of her trip.

I was in a rush to get to SBTS (Southern Baptist Theological Seminary).  Parked in lot 9, took a cue from the Holy Spirit to go through the building from the left side.  Was an old building where I had my theology classes that led to a new building.  I entered and a young woman, Renee, greeted me from a desk and was very professional with me.  I told her I was here 25 years ago and lost my faith.  She asked how I was doing now.  I told my story of coming back to faith stronger.  I asked about her story.  She told it as if she had the experience of many years but then she revealed she's just a junior in college.  She pointed me in the direction of things to do and see.  I walked through what was the new gym when I was here, stopped to ask about a 5K that is happening tomorrow which I just might run to support their missions to Nepal and India.

Went to the new bookstore where I saw a copy of the history of SBTS from 1859-2009 by Gregory Willis.  I picked it up and began reading about Dr Honeycutt, the President when I was here.  He apparently was not straight with the Southern Baptist Convention that professors were not completely aligned with the "Abstract of Principles" a founding document for the seminary from the 19th century speaking of their doctrinal beliefs.  I sat there reading it for a couple hours to grasp ahold of where the rub was.  The Abstract of Principles was supportive of Calvinistic theology but broke away from Calvinism with their ecclesiology and theology on sanctification.  The professors whose names I recognized during Honeycutt's era were way off base, which I knew but not to the extent of how it affected the rest of the nation.   They taught that the bible was not inerrant which was the issue I struggled with, but one professor didn't believe there was a hell, another few believed in eternal salvation outside of a confession of faith, and another believed Jesus' healings in the gospel and other accounts in the bible were probably grossly exaggerated.  A couple of years after I left, they hired a new President who demanded all professors sign a statement of faith adhering completely to the Abstract of Principles.  95% of the staff were either let go or resigned.  Today this school is extremely conservative.  I found later in my conversations throughout the day that currently spiritual gifts and moves of the Holy Spirit are scrutinized, and women can receive MDiv degrees but cannot teach men.

I took time to read through the 20 Abstract of Principles which they now posted in the lobby for everyone to see.  Went through my old music building hang out, saw what now is a hotel on campus.   Was asking the Holy Spirit about what next and was led back to the dining hall.  I looked for someone to sit by and felt led to a young man at the end of a group of people.  He was glad to have me join him.  His name was Alex, a 1st semester student wanting to be a college or seminary teacher himself.  I shared my story.  When he shared his story he was clear about his beliefs not crossing a certain line, and that line seemed to say interpretation of Scripture is pretty clear and should be without controversy, so if you don't agree, then you're liberal or "wrong."  I treaded lightly on theological issues and asked more about his experiences at STBS which were extremely positive.

After closing our conversation, I got more food and approached a guy who wore an SBTS polo shirt, looking like he was busy on his iPhone.  I figured he could possibly be on staff and asked if I could join him for lunch.  He said, "sure for a few minutes."  It turned into way longer than that.  He worked in the Provost's office.  I told him my story and felt the Holy Spirit move for a brief moment when I spoke.  His wife joined us.  I became much clearer that subsequent to 1993, doctrine is now a big deal.

I was feeling rather dead about my whole walk on campus today.  There is a huge priority on academia, religiosity, history.  Very much a Teacher RG profile.  Having enough of this I left and came across a music store that I decided go in to talk to.  The owner shared info with me and also pointed me toward one of the 2 most successful music schools in Louisville.  I located it and sat down with that owner, an 82 year old woman who was willing to share trade secrets.  We have similar sized staff and clientele, and # of rooms.  She charges less for lessons and pays teachers less too.  I won't go on here.

Ran the land I used to run in the park, still sometimes overwhelmed with a sadness over Obadiah.  I then ran along the river and noticed a beauty I had never ever noticed while I lived here.

I called mom saying Robyn asked for a flyer to post in Azusa.  Mom said people have been saying today they think they've seen Obadiah around recently in their community.  I was overjoyed and my spirit lifted.  I thought how similar she is to me.  I need to go places on my own without people worrying about me.  If Obadiah is really able to take care of herself in the wild, then what a wonderful experience this is for her.

This is what I was thinking when I received an email from Gayle forwarding Stephen's prophetic word:

When I first heard about Obadiah flying away I thought it was prophetic.
Let me take a moment to explain.

I found it "coincidental" that Carolyn was flying to a place that nearly
ruined her faith and kept her from becoming who she was (clipped her wings)
the same time that her bird, Obadiah, flew away with wings no longer
clipped.  To me, it can potentially be a sign that Carolyn is entering into
a new season in her life where "her wings are no longer clipped". She is
entering into a phase where she will move out of a phase where her needs
were the main focus (i.e. bird cage protection, being fed seed, etc.) and
into a season where she is doing what she is meant to do outside the safety
of a controlled environment.  Birds are meant to fly, which Obidiah did.
Carolyn was meant for greatness, which she may be entering into more
fully.

How this resonated with me!  Thank you Stephen!  I am blessing Obadiah's spirit during the day, hoping she is having the time of her life!

UPDATE:
At 10pm my mom called saying a neighbor up the hill found Obadiah on her rosebush.  She was disoriented, hungry and thirsty and has a wound on her left side but otherwise is alive!  Thank you Lord!  I am ecstatic!

Saturday, October 19
Day 2 Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

I woke up early to get ready for the 5K this morning which I held loosely to because I hadn't registered yet and wasn't particularly excited about SBTS's work overseas because sadly, I am not particularly excited about the message & theology they are bringing.  It was a very rainy morning and I did not bring any rain gear for running, but I thought I'd go, check it out, talk to people.  Renee was there helping to run the race. I made friends with Will an earnest young guy who helps with the race every year.

It rained harder as the race approached.  Ten minutes before the race started, I made a last minute decision to register and run.  The Lord cleared the path for no rain during my race, and then after we finished it started up again.

Because of my age, I can usually show up at a small race like this and at least win something in my age group category, but they glossed over the 40-49yr old women giving out only 1st and 2nd place.  Dejected, I thought maybe I registered too late and they didn't get my form.  But as I waited for the ceremony to end they called me for 3rd place women's overall.  It was a gift from the Lord along with Obadiah's return, reminding me about what I sensed the Father saying on my first day here, to treat myself well and that he would cover me.

My timing of arriving here is interesting because it is at the end of the week when they are celebrating the current president's 20 year tenure, causing a lot of historical reflections during chapel and classes all week.  Many people commented on this coincidence which I had no idea about.  Then there was also this coincidence that there was a seminary 5K run.   Yet my trip has so far been so flat.   How does a woman who previously lost her faith here, and is trying to follow the Holy Spirit's lead, speak authoritatively to a religious academic man who disqualifies a woman's authority and who looks with great scrutiny upon any move of the Spirit, or the mention of "feeling like the Holy Spirit is doing something?"  I am asking the Lord for an approach to break through and get deeper but so far my words have done nothing but to acquire sympathy and sadness for what the seminary used to be.  The invitations from people I met to go to Baptist churches around here tomorrow morning have not been appealing to me.   I think that if there is any chance of me seeing the Spirit move, it will probably have to be outside of the religious community.

Churchill Downs

I did my land survey this afternoon, driving to all parts of town.  I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit while worshiping at Churchill Downs of all places.  I went back to Falls of the Ohio to watch the sunset and enjoyed the presence of God.   I was most drawn to Churchill Downs and Louisville Sluggers Museum and will return tomorrow.

sunset from hotel room

Sunday, October 20
Day 3 in Louisville

Not feeling led to go to a religious church this morning.

Knowing forgiveness was probably on my agenda here, I have been asking the Lord who I need to forgive.  The list has been surprisingly short.  Maurice Hinson my 1st piano teacher here who just wasn't very nice to me, a gym that closed down right after I paid for the year and wouldn't give me my $ back, a relative of a professor who I believe stole some cash and an ID from my purse, a small church that did not hire me to be their choir director, saying bottom line was if I were a man they would have hired me but because I was a woman, I simply had to be much better, probably having a doctoral degree.  The forgiving did not require me to dig very deep.

After coming up blank, I emailed AB to ask for suggestions.  He agreed this trip seemed flat in spite of pushing thru every door that's coming my way: I'm asking the Holy Spirit, having the conversations I need to have, running the land, repenting and forgiving and still nothing clear on why I'm here; he said either there will be a huge result that I won't know until I get to heaven or there is a huge suppressive blanket over the seminary which he believes is a microcosm of the city. Unwilling to settle for the first option yet, I set out to find the Holy Spirit in other places.

I reconsidered skipping church this morning.  The owner of the Japanese restaurant I went to last night told me she goes to a Japanese church.  This is the first church I have been remotely interested in going to so far.  She said to call her.

In the end I looked online and found a small church plant that sounded like they moved in the prophetic. There were about 20 total present including 2 kids.  The building was trendy and attractive like a coffee shop in old town Pasadena.  The message was given by a young college graduate preaching off notes, the worship leaders were good.  There was room for the Holy Spirit to move and so I stuck around to encourage the preacher who was considering seminary.  The senior pastors were out of town.

Having a lack of clarity in the whole seminary and religious arena, I dropped it all today to pursue motion anointing.  Went the the Louisville Sluggers Museum which produces 50% of all MLB bats, and has the endorsement of 85% Major League players.

Next I went back to Churchill Downs where I felt the spirit move when I worshiped there yesterday.  I wasn't expecting that level movement of the spirit again but was quite surprised it far trumped yesterday's experience with the amount by which my spirit came alive while being there and learning what I did on tour.   I made note of every time my spirit leaped within me:

-  The first was when the tour guide said, "Favorites don't win the Kentucky Derby.  It's the right horse at the right place at the right time doing the right thing that wins the race."

-  In 1915 Regret was the 1st Philly to win the Derby.  In 1919 Sir Barton was the 1st horse to win the triple crown.  In 1935 triple crown winner Omaha's dad Gallant Fox was also a triple crown winner.

-  I felt a major move of God's presence walking thru tunnel that leads to the race track, and was hit with the same powerful feeling on the way back out.

-  1940s had 4 triple crown winners, then none until Secretariat in 1973 & Seattle Slew in 1977.

-  In an autopsy they found Secretariat's heart was 28 lbs compared to the average heart weight of 15 lbs.

Went lastly to the Falls of the Ohio museum and found amazing things about this area.  This beautiful Falls area where I've been watching breathtaking sunsets each evening is located just 15 minutes from my seminary, and yet was a place I never bothered to visit while I lived here.  These falls forbade smooth passage for river boats to go  down the Ohio River and is the reason Louisville, Clarksville, Jeffersonville all exist.  It made for a vibrant and extremely attractive area amongst the Native Americans and remained so when Lewis & Clark began urbanizing the area.  Soy beans, aluminum, Kentucky Derby and Louisville Sluggers all thrived here.

Calling it a day, I reflected on the sweetness here.  In Southern culture a lady will never find herself vying for a seat or a space especially in the presence of a gentleman; here a lady always has the right of way.  Unlike the posturing and elbowing stance one has to assume in order to hold one's place in a food or ticket line in China, here the competition if there is any, is about who can be more graceful and polite.

All this being said, although I have no solid evidence, I can't shirk the feeling of lacking authority here.  It feels as if my already quiet voice is even more muffled. I have also been hit with thoughts and feelings that identify with the oppression of this land.  And this is not a new feeling to me here.

Louisville remains an enigma for me.  This wonderful city with the hospitality of southern culture built upon a hardened land, full of motion.  Did this trip back here make any move forward in the spirit?  I have no idea.

Tuesday, October 22
Moravian Falls, NC

had 4 visions:  (I've never had visions before)

A dark colored 1970s Cadillac with tail lights jutting out running over a sharp object with it's rear passenger side wheel causing it to swerve out of control.  I prayed for it in the spirit.

A blunt awl about to be used to harm someone.  Prayed in the spirit for that.

Me walking across a small stream before getting to the entry way of a large log cabin style building, like a welcome center, but the first step on a log cabin style stairway was a big step up (3 feet or so), then the subsequent steps were normal sized.

Had another one that I was observing someone climbing into a cylinder space, curling up into a ball to get in.  The cylinder space was part of a Ferris wheel.  I then fell asleep.

I googled Moravian Falls to find out what's out here.  Found out Rick Joyner was given land and is building something here.  He recounted meeting the IHOP guy for the first time and receiving a prophecy that he was getting land 100 miles from Charlotte, along with other specific details.  They had not heard about this town before then.  I drove that yesterday and it was 94 miles from the Charlotte airport.  From his office it was apparently 99.8 miles.  I asked the Lord if I'm supposed to pursue any of this but it was flat so I don't think so.  I don't know if I heard about Moravian Falls through Rick Joyner, as I hardly listen to him, though I've read his books and think highly of his prophecies.  I do know I heard about Moravian Falls for the first time from someone 3-5 years ago and have heard about it from other sources than Rick Joyner, but I did think it is interesting he's here. 

After driving through Charlotte and its suburban neighborhoods yesterday, I am going to guess this is prophet land.  The feel is much more cutting edge, almost thought I was in California with all the sushi restaurants and foot massages, but still not having a heavy Asian population.  (this contrasted to Louisville where I saw one and none.)   People here drive faster than in Louisville.  I almost felt like I was traveling up the 5 fwy going to No Cal.

Ran 7 miles to the Falls and back.  I have a sense it's not the Falls itself that I have to be at constantly to receive what I'm supposed to off of this land but my living accommodations atop a high hill, a mile up a rough dirt & gravel road is actually a holy place and God's provision for revelation.

Been feeling led to Nehemiah.  As I listened to my audio bible on my run, the Holy Spirit highlighted that Nehemiah had a heart for his people group and wept and confessed corporately on behalf of them and generations past as if it were his own sins. (Neh 1:4)  When his enemies had a problem with him going and building the wall, they caused a ruckus.  Nehemiah in turn told them they had no right to come up against their right to build the wall because his enemies had no heritage, no right and no memorial in Jerusalem.  (Neh 2:20 NKJV)   In spite of harsh opposition and attack, the wall was built in 52 days and enemies were disheartened because they perceived it to be a work done by God.  (Neh 6:16)

I believe that what I am to receive here at Moravian Falls has to do with the 2020 property in DB.  I found out from the City of Diamond Bar before I left that 1) the City of DB was behind my project and wants me to hurry up and make it through their scrutinizing process and start operating, and 2) that the landlords believe I am the right person to be there and so the realtor has not really seriously showed that property to anyone even though he is obligated to put it back on the market while they wait for my CUP and licensing process.  Before I left Davee asked where Jesus was on the DB property.  He was standing over the property welcoming me there.  So why now no cash flow?  Perhaps it's a Nehemiah 6:16 deal--so people will know it is a work done by God.

There is no doubt in my mind that Obadiah's return was a miracle and God's provision on account of all the prayers that went out.  It was also a faithful act of God when he told me on day 1 in Louisville that he had this trip covered (though I at that point had no faith that would also mean Obadiah's return, as I am aware Ezekiel did lose his beloved wife in the midst of doing what God was asking him to do and was ordered not to grieve).  On the same account it was no accident that Obi left on the eve of my embarking on this trip as Stephen's word reflected.  Her return was a significant sign and wonder to help my faith rise a bit for the bigger tasks at hand.

I must note here that in hindsight there may be 2 significant divine appointments I had during my time in Louisville.  The first was my meeting with the 82 year old owner of one of the 2 most successful music schools in the city who was willing to share her secrets with me.  The second was my meeting with Renee, the college junior.  I am remembering how the Holy Spirit specifically led me through a certain side of the building in order to meet her.

Thursday, October 24
Back in L.A.

The Lord gave me major downloads on my last day in Moravian Falls (where I have been somewhat isolated) and on the plane ride back.  These downloads I will share very soon in a different format than this blog.

On my last night here I asked the Lord for dreams or visions.  I didn’t get either that I could remember but he did get me up at 2:59am completely refreshed when my alarm was set for 3am!  I rushed to get on the road and saw that when I turned on my engine it was 3:33.  I asked God if I could see a deer or wild turkey on the way down the gravel road mountain because I read in a brochure last night that they were present.  I did see a deer on the way down and there were probably 10 turkeys I passed who saw me but I didn’t see them.  I chuckled at the thought of them laughing at me.  I knew that Obadiah had 4 angels and so did I right now.  Also saw 4:44 while driving into Charlotte.  On the first flight the stewardess announced it was 10:10 when we took off, and the time we arrived in Memphis was 11:11. 

I got on to Delta flight # 2020 to LAX and sat by a young couple (last name Johnson), church planters in Mississippi.  The wife was a delight to talk to.  I asked them about greatest moments and encouraged them as they pursue their destinies.  Also felt led to give them the Cindy Jacobs book I was reading.  

I had worked hard on compiling my N.C downloads and had a great flow.  Got to LA and announcement came that it was currently 10:10.   

To recap more God-affirming moments, 

- I remembered how I had felt a rush of the Holy Spirit when I was looking at some title covers in the Houston airport bookstore, the title of the book was "And the Mountains Echoed" by Khaled Hosseini which caused my radar to be up when I was at the seminary bookstore when I stumbled upon the newly published history of the school where I was able to get a good narrative of what happened.

-  I saw no less than 10 double or triple digits all day long on my trip over to Louisville including 333 and 444 at least 3-4 times each, as if The Lord was saying in spite of loosing your beloved pet bird, I'm still leading you every step of the way.  Then again was hit by these numbers (333, 1010, 1111, 2020) on the day leaving N. Carolina to LA.   (*note: if this seems weird, it is just a personalized way that the Lord speaks to me, especially this year during my faith journeys, letting me know he's there and speaking to me. there is sometimes more to these numbers, and sometimes I can't figure them out so just receive them in my spirit, something Davee encouraged me to do)

-  I entered that 5K expecting to at least win my age category with mostly these young kids running but finding I was actually 3rd overall woman.

 

On the flip side, I had counted on a miracle happening for my Louisville rental car which hadn’t yet been charged.  I had intended on calling them to make sure they knew they didn’t charge me, and had grandiose ideas that since God said he was going to "cover everything," that He was going to have his angels remove my bill from their list and was going to take care of my like he promised.  

When I arrived at the Santa Clarita to get my birds, and I also saw on my credit card account that the Louisville Dollar rental car did indeed put the charge through and it was for extra:  $210 instead of $207 because I didn’t include a receipt for the gas I had put in.  I was so disheartened that I had thought I heard God say he was going to take care of me in Louisville, though later I remembered this was my worship to him.  Even though this didn't involve a lot of $, what was devastating was, I needed to hear his voice, and if I was hearing wrongly, then I am out on this limb of faith with so many big projects right now that I could be financially destroyed.  I wrote a psalm expressing the depths of my disappointment yet with the heights of His provision of Obadiah who was now at home safe.  

Sam encouraged me that God had not and would not let me down because he's seen God bless me more than anyone he's known (paraphrased, but this is what translated over to me: "GOD IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF CAROLYN!")  Car companies fast-sell you, that's what they do.  It is part of natural law.

On my first morning in LA I did indeed have a dream.  I had been bummed I didn't dream in NC but elated that I did get visions, one of which I believe had to do with a carnival ride accident that happened last night in NC at the state fare.  Anyway, my dream:

I was in China with Mom & Dad. Dayna, Greg & Jake Hardee (from Ethnos) came in on the day we were supposed to leave.  They came in via a city along the east side of a north south river that was south of where we were.

More people were there like Martin (from Ethnos) and there was a table of food that we were standing in line for.  My greeting to & from Dayna was not acknowledging that we were excited to see each other or that we hadn't seen each other for a long time, it was matter of fact.  After a while I went up to her and told her I had a dream about her (this was a dream within a dream) and I told her never really dreamed about her so this was unusual.   I was going to say it was odd but my words became twisted and something came out to the effect that I was waiting for her or thinking about her, but it came out in an offensive way and she backed away and said "what are you saying?"  I tried to explain but my words became even more twisted and I was frustrated more and more as I spoke.

An “auntie” (I don’t know who she was but she was Asian with short wavy hair) was teaching her infant to swim and there was a fish tank that was made for this new cutting edge infant swimming program.  It was a life-sized box shaped glass aquarium with the normal opening on the top but this one also had a hole on the side to immerse your infant from the side while you stood outside and didn't have to get your body wet.  They had filled the aquarium with big goldfish and green plants.  There was a blue background panel in the back.  The aunty held the infant stomach down, on the palm of her hand the infant was breathing in the water like a fish and doing breast stroke movements and somersaults.  Another kid was watching.

James Tanaka (Kent & Caroline’s James) was there and I started talking to him comfortably and he was talking back to me.  I grabbed him to horse around with him and he was playing with me and running away.  Then he started thinking why are you doing this?  (In real life I don’t relate to him at all.)  I believe Presley was also there in the background.

While running this morning I realized James was the book of James which although it was the first book I ever studied and memorized, I have a block toward it in my spirit.  Twice recently when people have asked me if I want to study the book of James together I feel my heart lose interest and say "not really, but how about ___?"  Although I thought I knew James, it has been so long since my spirit engaged with it that I have become unfamiliar with it. 

I read it this morning and this is what the Lord was saying:

James 1:2-8, 12 setting my heart without wavering on the Lord who provides during this time is the only way.  I cannot abandon Him or my faith in order to preserve myself.  

James  1:16  Obadiah’s return was a perfect gift from the Father of lights.  He does not change even though my expectations of his promise are different than how he answered specifically.  It would gives  free choice to the wicked and I can still be swindled.

I need help processing this dream if any of you have thoughts on this!

I did hear from the Lord this morning that "now the circle is complete," whatever that means.  I receive it in my spirit!

 

Saturday, October 26
THEOLOGICAL REFLECTIONS ON LAND

I was surprised to find reconciliation wasn't a huge emotional deal, maybe I was expecting it might hit at some point but it didn't.  Cleansing land didn't happen either because honestly the land appeared clean.  Was it absent of the demonic?  not at all, but it didn't appear visually dirty which is usually an indicator with defiled land, and which is what I was looking for. 

When I left Louisville and entered Charlotte there was a clear difference in the spiritual atmosphere which I believe gave me revelation into understanding what had happened in Louisville.  I began to theorize and asked, could a land be clean but still operate under a demonic stronghold or a principality?  I began to develop a theory that this was possible.  I called Ginger and processed this.  She said, "hmm, interesting."  The next morning in Moravian Falls NC I looked over my previous day's scripture study and there is not a lot of scripture on principalities so you look at biblical principles and that theory didn't sit right.  I came to realize that In Louisville there was a much larger systemic defilement present that was masked by a community that was not particularly dirty or unkempt, in fact some places were down right beautiful and well cared for, this is a community that cared about appearance, but that didn't mean the land was clean.

Over this trip I had many times felt stumped what to do to find what I was looking for, I pushed through every door that I could think of.  I asked the Holy Spirit constantly, talked to people I thought were highlighted to me, volunteered personal info about myself, but those conversations were not going anywhere significant.  So I was disappointed.

But when I look at the big blips or spikes on this trip, this was largely about Obadiah the bird getting and being returned.  It was about me getting lost and being returned.  It was about the Lord welcoming me to KY and telling me thank you for coming, and thank you for coming 25 years ago because you did it out of your love for me.

So, without a clue on the cleansing, reconciling part, I proceeded with what was natural for me to do:  grieving my lost bird, giving God my worship, seeking out the Holy Spirit for my next move.

In hindsight Louisville is an example of defiled land that doesn't necessarily look or feel dirty.  The principality that I believe is at work is the religious spirit which is keeping people from experiencing intimacy with the Lord.  Whether it was the off-the-wall professors in my time or the ultra-conservatives who are there now, it is still the same spirit in different forms that is preventing intimacy. 

It bothered me that I was so convicted to go to Louisville and so led by the Holy Spirit, I didn't find what I thought I was looking for.  Yet, it was no minor miracle that Obadiah returned, and no minor occurrence that she left on the day before my departure,

to list the miracles that happened,

I felt a rush of the Holy Spirit when I was looking at some title covers in the Houston airport bookstore, the title of the book was "And the Mountains Echoed" which I believe was a prophetic word to what I would receive in the mountains of North Carolina.  It also caused my radar to be up when I was at the seminary bookstore when I stumbled upon the newly published history of the school where I was able to get a good narrative of what happened.

I saw no less than 10 double or triple digits all day long including 444 at least 4 times, and then 333 three times after I crossed the bridge into Indiana. times.  I took 444 to correlate to the land and 333 to mean the Holy Spirit was indeed leading me.  It was as if the Lord was saying in spite of loosing your beloved pet bird, I'm still leading you every step of the way.

On the way back the Holy Spirit got me up at 2:59am when I had set my alarm for 3am, I packed up my bags and turned on the engine and the clock flashed 3:33.  When I arrived into my stopover in Memphis the stewardess announced the time is 10:10.  Then I boarded Delta flight 2020, and when I was coming into LA they again announced the time is 10:10. 

I entered that 5K expecting to at least win my age category with these young kids running but finding I was actually 3rd overall woman.

What the Lord revealed to me in Moravian Falls (which is an example of clean land) was that the land of Louisville was indeed defiled but not "dirty," and if I had gone there doing conventional cleansing very much the way we are going to do today, it would not have worked, because I was dealing with a principality which I would never in my right mind have gone after, but by going there out of obedience and by worshiping the Lord in spite of and out of the pain and desperation of my lost bird and the 2020 property, and out of seeking the Holy Spirit, I had gone after the religious spirit by bringing in the opposite spirit because the religious spirit blocks intimacy with the Lord and intimacy with other people, which is the thing that undermined my young faith when I went there 25 years ago. 

CLEAN - AN OPTION?
Cleansing land is a new concept to most people including myself so it can seem like something that is nice to learn about once you get your foundations in the faith down, and the question arises:  is cleansing land a niche anointing or is it a mandate to all believers?  Doing a biblical scan this is what I realized:

The first commission to mankind, God told Adam to till the land, you talk about purpose in life, that was it!  "then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it." (Genesis 2:15 NKJV)

in fact the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the earth, because there was no man to till the ground; (Genesis 2:5 NKJV)

God's covenant with Abraham involved land:  Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. (Genesis 12:1 ESV) And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. (Genesis 12:2 ESV)

-  God's promise to Israel involved taking land
Then the Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. (Exodus 3:7, 8 ESV)

and commands Joshua to possess the land.
"until the Lord gives rest to your brothers as he has to you, and they also take possession of the land that the Lord your God is giving them. Then you shall return to the land of your possession and shall possess it, the land that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you beyond the Jordan toward the sunrise.” (Joshua 1:15 ESV)

-  the consequence of corporate sin and defilement involved the loss of land
Micah 2:10  "Up! Begone! This is no longer your land and home, for you have filled it with sin and ruined it completely." (Micah 2:10 NLT)

On one level it is a corporate mandate of God's people to till, cultivate, care for, and steward land.

Taking land is done upon God's specific promise and initiation to us, to move forward with the Holy Spirit on a particular piece of land.

When we take land it is a personal as well as a corporate assignment and victory, it is part of our birthright as the people of God.

STAYING CLEAN
Staying clean was an issue that God is concerned about which is why over 100 verses are dedicated to defilement and remaining clean.  This is not a small deal to God, in fact God commanded entire people groups to be destroyed and wiped off the face of the earth because they were defiled and brought idolatry, death, and sin to the land.  

Daniel one of the major characters in the bible was concerned with staying clean. He knew he was destined to do great things on a high level of visibility.
 
"But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself." (Daniel 1:8 ESV)